Chapter 35

Chapter 35
Three days past, and Sidney didn’t call. Or text. Or email. Nothing. Nathalie had called her a few times to tell her that he’d been sulking around the house, miserable. Nathalie also explained that Mario had even spoken to him a few times, urging him to call Lauren.
Lauren had cried herself to sleep at night, but even then she never slept for more than a few hours before she would be tossing and turning, trying to figure out what went wrong. Being away from Sidney was breaking her heart into millions of pieces, and nothing could make the pain go away.
“Nathalie, what should I do? Is this really just about his car?” Lauren asked.
“No, I think there’s more to it, but no one seems to know what. Don’t give up on him – I think you’re probably the only one who will be able to snap him out of this.”
“Nathalie, do you think it would be okay if I stopped by later?” Lauren asked nervously.
“Yes, I think that would be good. I think you’ve been really good about giving him his space, but now it’s time for him to snap out of it.”
A few hours later, Lauren wiped her sweaty palms on her pants as she stepped out of her car in the Lemieux’s driveway. She had never been nervous like this before, not when it came to Sidney anyways. Normally, the thought of him caused butterflies in her stomach, but now it was more of a churning feeling in the pit of her stomach. She was afraid of how he would react to her. She didn’t know if she would be able to take it if he rejected her. A million thoughts were racing through her mind as she knocked on the front door. A moment later, Nathalie greeted her with a smile.
“Come in, Lauren.” She said, welcoming her in and putting a comforting arm around Lauren. “He’s in his room. He’s been there most of the day.” Lauren nodded and down the hall to Sidney’s wing of the house.
When she got to his door, she stopped to compose herself. She tried to steady her breathing but her heart was pounding too hard in her chest. It’s now or never. You love him. Talk to him. Lauren tried to reassure herself as she quietly knocked on his door.
At first, she wasn’t even sure she had knocked hard enough for him to hear her, but a moment later, he opened the door. His eyes grew wide when he saw her, but quickly averted his gaze to the floor.
“Sidney…” she began, reaching her hand towards his. He quickly pulled away from her and stepped back into the room.
“Lauren, I can’t do this.” He murmured, still looking at the floor.
“You can’t do what? You can’t talk to me? Sid, what’s going on? Why won’t you look at me?” She said hoarsely, her voice cracking as tears welled up in her emerald green eyes.
“Please, just go. This is just too hard for me.”
Hurt as she was, Lauren wasn’t about to leave without some sort of explanation. Maybe it was true what they say about redheads and their fiery temper. Maybe she was just too mixed with emotions to physically walk out of his room. Either way, she was hell bent on getting some answers.
“No, Sidney, I will not leave. And this is hard for you? Sidney, what the hell do you think this is doing to me? You haven’t spoken to me in days. You haven’t called, texted, nothing! And why? Because your car is totaled? I don’t see what that has to do with you and me?” She hadn’t meant to lose her temper with him, but he always did bring out the passion in her, and this time, it happened to be fueling her anger and hurt.
Sidney’s eyes finally met hers. They were wide with shock. She had never spoken to him like that before. Sure, she’d been fired up before, but he’d never seen her this upset with him. He sighed heavily and slumped down into the couch.
When she looked back at him, she saw his eyes were heavy with pain and exhaustion. Lauren could tell that he hadn’t been sleeping much either in the past few days. That gave her a weird sense of satisfaction. She pushed that feeling out of her head as she waited for him to speak.
“Lauren, it’s not about the car.” He said simply, as if that would satisfy her questions. She just raised her eyebrows and nodded for him to continue. “Lauren, I can’t do this to you anymore.”
“Sidney, what are you talking about? Why won’t you talk to me?” She had knelt in front of him now, pleading him with her eyes, still afraid that if she reached out to touch him, he would pull away. Her heart couldn’t take that again.
“I want to protect you. And this is the only way.” He said softly.
“Sidney Patrick, enough talking in circles. It’s me. Please tell me what’s going on. I can handle it.”
Sidney gave her the faintest of smiles, but it was a sad smile. “I know you can. You’re strong. But I don’t want you to have to handle this. It’s not fair. It’s too much to ask of you.”
“Sidney, I love you. I love you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I it’s not always going to be smooth sailing, but I know that whatever comes our way, we can handle it. Together. But you have to let me in.”
“Lauren, I’m sorry, but I just don’t want to be the cause of any pain for you. The press…I just couldn’t stand the thought of it if anything bad ever happened to you…” he trailed off, delicately running his fingers across her cheek. His hazel eyes were red with emotion, and Lauren could’ve sworn she felt him shaking as he touched her cheek.
“Sidney, not being with you these past few days and not hearing your voice is the only thing that has been causing me any pain. Like you said, I’m strong. And with you by my side, I can handle anything the press might throw my way. But you have to give me the chance to prove it to you.” She carefully took his hands in hers, and felt a little bit of relief when he didn’t pull away.
“Lauren, when they hit my car…well it was because they were trying to stop me from leaving. They wanted an interview, and normally I would stay, but they were being rude, and all I really wanted to do was get to you. They tried to block me, so I had to slam on the brakes. But then I tried to go again, and that’s when we hit.”
She could definitely tell that he was shaking now, but the way his hands were trembling in hers. “Sidney, are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” She suddenly started looking him up and down.
“I’m fine. I had my seat belt on, and I wasn’t going too fast. The car is the only thing that’s damaged. I just thank God that you weren’t there. I could never live with myself if anything ever happened to you.” He said softly. “And the only way to make sure nothing like that ever happens is to make sure you’re not anywhere near me.”
“Sidney, that’s crazy! I have never felt anything less than safe with you, and I think this was a freak accident. The guy was an asshole. He’s not worth giving up our relationship over.” Lauren was bawling at this point.
“Lauren, this is the only way I can protect you. Please. It has to be this way.” With that, he stood up and gently pushed her towards the door. When she realized he was trying to kick her out, she clung to him with all her strength, but it certainly wasn’t enough to overpower his well-toned muscles.
“Sidney, I love you! Please, can’t you see that? I need you in my life. I love you. I love you.” She pleaded with him, seeing the painful resolution in his eyes.
“I know. I love you too, which is why it has to be this way.” He kissed her forehead and then gently brushed his lips against hers. He pulled her close to him and she cried into his chest. After a moment, he pulled away and gently pushed her out the door. She tried to stop him, but he shut the door. Lauren’s blood ran cold when she heard him click the lock into place.
She thought about banging on the door, screaming and yelling and pleading with him to open the door, but she couldn’t will her body to move. She slumped to the floor and cried quietly for what seemed like hours. She couldn’t hear him moving around at all. After a while, she picked herself up and walked down the hall to the living room, where Nathalie and Lauren (Mario’s daughter) were watching TV. When they saw her, Nathalie immediately rushed to her and pulled her into a hug. When she pulled away, Nathalie looked at Lauren with question in her eyes. Lauren simply nodded her head. “He told me it’s over.” Nathalie comforted her and quietly whispered reassurances to her, telling her that he would come to his senses.
Suddenly, Lauren felt the need to be alone. “I’ve got to go. I’ve got to get out of here.”
“Lauren, please. I don’t want you driving like this. Just stay here tonight. Or let me get Mario to take you home.”
“Thanks Nathalie, but I really just need to take a drive and clear my head. I’ll be fine. I will call you when I get home, so you know I made it home safe. No offense, but I just can’t be in the same house as him right now.”
Nathalie nodded her head in understanding. “Be careful. And please remember to call.”
Lauren nodded her head and let herself out of the house. When she got into her car, she didn’t know where she was going. She looked up towards Sidney’s windows and saw dim lighting from within the room, and she could’ve sworn she saw Sidney’s shadow in the window. She sighed as she put the car into drive and headed out into the twilight. She loved him more than anything, and he had just shut her out of his life.