Chapter 77

“I just figured you weren’t ready for…that, yet. We can wait until you’re ready.”

“Sidney, I love you.” Lauren said, emphasizing each word.

“I know you do, babe, and God knows how much I love you. I just don’t want to pressure you into anything. I can wait. I will wait for you as long as you need.”

Lauren thought for a moment. “Sidney, I don’t want to wait. I love you. I want to be with you.”

“But are you sure it’s okay? I mean, are you able to?” Sidney asked quietly.

Lauren gave him a reassuring smile. “The doctor said I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.” Sidney looked deeply concerned.

“You won’t hurt me. I trust you, Sid. I want this.” She said, running her fingers lightly along his jaw line.

“I want this too.” He whispered. “But if you change your mind, if you’re not ready, you just say the word and we’ll stop. I promise.”

“Sidney, I want you. I want this. Right here, right now, in our house.” Lauren whispered back, staring directly into his eyes.

“Okay.” He whispered. Sidney’s lips curved into a grin as he leaned in to kiss her, cupping her face in his hands. Lauren put her smaller hands over his as she kissed him back.

Sidney gently scooped Lauren up in his arms and laid her down on the makeshift bed, resting her head on a pillow. He stood up and she smiled up at him as he slid his shirt up over his head. He laid down next to her and kissed her mouth again, running his hands along her hips.

As they made love, Sidney was slow and careful in every motion, still fearing he might hurt her. Afterwards, he pulled the sheets and blanket up around them and she laid with her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as it returned to a normal rate. He couldn’t see her face, but when he heard Lauren sniffle, he gently turned her head so he could look into her eyes. “Hey there,” he said quietly. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he said, his voice breaking with concern.

She smiled up at him, tears glistening in her eyes. “No, you didn’t. You were perfect and wonderful, as always.”

“Then what is it?” he asked softly.

“After I was raped, I didn’t know if you and I would ever be able to be together again without me thinking about him.”

“And did you?” Sidney asked, almost fearing the answer but desperately needing to know.

“No.” Lauren said, smiling wide. “I just thought of you and how much I love you.” She softly pressed her lips against his bare chest.

“That’s what I thought of too.” Sidney said with a grin. “I was a little scared about something too.” Sidney admitted.

“What were you afraid of?” Lauren asked, rolling over so she was resting her chin on his chest and watching him.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore.”

“Sidney, how could you even think that? I love you!”

“I know you do, babe. I just wasn’t sure that you’d want to be…intimate anymore…given everything that’s happened.”

“I wasn’t sure about that either. But I love you, and I trust you, and I’m safe with you.”

The next morning, Sidney woke up before his alarm went off and he quickly shut it off before it could wake Lauren up. He loved these few minutes in the mornings when he could just watch her beautiful, peaceful sleeping form. He suspected she didn’t sleep very soundly when he wasn’t there, and while he loved that it made him feel needed and important, he hated that she had to face her inner demons alone.

Sidney looked over at his phone and realized that he had to get going if he was going to make it to practice on time. He ran his fingers lightly along Lauren’s cheek and kissed her softly on the lips. After a minute or so of planting soft kisses on her face, she kissed him back, a smile forming on her lips.

“Morning, darlin’.” Sidney whispered softly.

“Is our camping trip over already?” Lauren said, knowing he had practice that morning, but sad to see their time alone together ending so soon.

“I’m afraid so. But we can come camping again sometime if you want.”

“Pinky promise?” Lauren said, holding her pinky out to him.

“Pinky promise.” He said with a grin, linking his pinky with hers and further sealing the deal with a kiss.

They cleaned up the living room and packed everything into the back of Sidney’s SUV. They drove the quick drive back to the Lemieux’s where Lauren decided to go back to sleep for a little while. Before Sidney left, he tucked her in and kissed her cheek. “Sweet dreams.” He whispered as she snuggled further under the covers, inhaling his sweet scent on the pillows. Sidney grabbed his bag from the corner and quietly left closed the door behind him.

A few hours later, Lauren woke up and took a long hot shower. By the time she got out, Sidney was home from practice. When she stepped out of the bathroom, he was talking quietly to someone on the phone. When he saw her standing in the doorway watching him, his tone quickly changed. “Uhh, I’ll call you back later.” He hung up before the other person could say anything.

“What was that about?” Lauren asked curiously.

“Nothing. How long have you been standing there?” he asked, trying to keep his tone casual even though he knew she would see right through him.

“Not long enough to have any idea what you were talking about. What were you talking about?” she pressed.

“Don’t worry about it.” Sidney said sweetly, kissing her lips.

She kissed him back, conceding that the conversation was over for the time being. It wasn’t like him to keep things from her, so she hoped it was only a matter of time before she could wear him down enough to tell her what he had been talking about.